XMFC/Toy Soldier

[diecastking]

When Alex says he wants to talk to him, Erik takes him out into the grounds and sits him down first. He already knows he won't like what the boy has to say, but it's Alex who needs to sit down for this. There's a fine tremor running through him as he finally starts to speak.

"I'm joining the army."

Erik listens, trying not to let his reaction show in his face. It's understandable, he thinks, with his natural athleticism, his love of order, and Erik's own past showcased before him. Erik does not like it, but he does not detest the idea either.

Charles, however...

Alex is not asking permission. It is a done deal - without consulting them, or Darwin, or anyone at all. Erik does not chastise him, because he guesses the reason for his secrecy - he did not want to be dissuaded by the Professor's reaction. By the thoughts and feelings of his family.

"Will you...I mean, the Professor..."

Erik's eyes narrow. "You will face down a hail of bullets, but not him?"

Alex looks a little sheepish at that. "I don't know what to say," he mumbles.

"I will tell him," Erik agrees. "But you must tell the others."

Agreeing all too readily, Alex holds Erik in a tight embrace before finally releasing him.

As if going to his death, Erik returns to the house, knowing he is about to break Charles' heart.

Comments

[diecastking]

"You act as if we have not been soldiers. As if we didn't put him in a uniform and teach him how to fight. I am not surprised he has chosen this path."

Erik knows he is surely more to blame for that than Charles, but he doesn't need to say it aloud for them both to feel it.

[guideshapelead]

Charles has not thought of himself as a soldier for a long time. He'd tried that life once, and he'd ended up bleeding on a beach in Cuba. He would not go back to that place again, and he would not wish it on any of the boys he considered his responsibility, his children.

"He is a teacher, Erik, like you and me. I never asked him to be a soldier. I never... wanted that, for any of them." His voice quavers.

[diecastking]

"Charles," Erik says quietly, patiently, "we have fought a war with him. No matter how much we might want it, he is not a teacher. He is a soldier."

He knows it because he recognises that same fire within Alex that drove him for years to seek vengeance, justice. At least Alex will have the army at his back.

[guideshapelead]

Charles looks away, down at his knees, trying desperately to see Erik's point of view, find the silver lining in this situation. But all he can think about is Cuba, and the stories he heard on the news every day of soldiers killed in the name of duty.

"What if he doesn't come back?" he asks, unable to meet Erik's eye.

[diecastking]

"He is a grown man," Erik says, reaching for his fiancé's hand. "I don't want him to go either. Neither does Darwin. But he has made his choice."

[guideshapelead]

Charles squeezes his eyes shut to hide the wetness there from Erik, as he clings to his lover's hand like a lifeline.

Was it so much to ask that those he cared about would stay close, be satisfied with the safety of this house?

[diecastking]

Erik moves towards Charles and draws him into an embrace.

"We must be brave for him."

[guideshapelead]

"What about Scott?" Charles asks thickly into Erik's shoulder.

[diecastking]

"I was away from him for a long time," Erik reminds him. "He will accept it."

[guideshapelead]

Charles sighs and falls silent, keeping Erik tight in their embrace. Perhaps they could just stay like this forever, and forget about the world outside this office?

[diecastking]

Satisfied his thoughts are more under his control, Erik lets down his guard, reaching out for Charles with his mind.

//We'll survive this, liebe. All of us.//

[guideshapelead]

//I wish I could share your optimism// Charles sighs. He is not the hardened fighter his lover is - he always seems to only just survive every dangerous situation they find themselves in.

[diecastking]

"Let's speak to our family," Erik says, kissing the edge of Charles' mouth.

[guideshapelead]

"Now?" Charles clutches at Erik's shirt, holding him close. He has not made his peace with this news yet, not by a long shot, and he doesn't feel ready to be strong for anybody else.

[diecastking]

"We can stay here as long as you want."

Erik will not force Charles beyond his limits, not when their son is leaving them - perhaps forever.

[guideshapelead]

Charles moves to rest his head on Erik's shoulder, hearing the beat of his heart against his throat.

"Don't you go off to war again, too," he begs. "I can't... not both of you."

[diecastking]

"I will try to remain here as long as you need me," Erik says, hoping he will not be forced to fight again but knowing he cannot make that promise.

[guideshapelead]

"Forever," Charles answers at once.

"I'll need you forever."

[diecastking]

"I love you, Charles," Erik says, in lieu of promises he cannot keep.

[guideshapelead]

"I love you too," Charles sighs, keeping a tight hold on Erik and wishing that they could just freeze time in this instant.

"Does anybody else know?" he asks after a long silence, forcing himself to think practically.

[diecastking]

"No - I came to you first." Erik wants to make sure they're presenting a united front. "We are his parents."

[guideshapelead]

"Alex should tell Darwin, at least," Charles ponders out loud.

"I would want to hear about your departure from you, if that were the situation."

[diecastking]

"Do you want me to speak to him?" Erik asks tentatively. "Or do you...?"

[guideshapelead]

"What does Alex want from me?" Charles asks. He will do what the boy wishes, no matter his personal feelings. He can be the better man.

[diecastking]

"I think, Charles, that he wants your acceptance. He knows you do not want him to go. He just wants... I feel he wants you to understand that he has made his own choice."

Erik watches his lover carefully, to see this information sink in.