diecastking | XMFC/Toy Soldier

When Alex says he wants to talk to him, Erik takes him out into the grounds and sits him down first. He already knows he won't like what the boy has to say, but it's Alex who needs to sit down for this. There's a fine tremor running through him as he finally starts to speak.

"I'm joining the army."

Erik listens, trying not to let his reaction show in his face. It's understandable, he thinks, with his natural athleticism, his love of order, and Erik's own past showcased before him. Erik does not like it, but he does not detest the idea either.

Charles, however...

Alex is not asking permission. It is a done deal - without consulting them, or Darwin, or anyone at all. Erik does not chastise him, because he guesses the reason for his secrecy - he did not want to be dissuaded by the Professor's reaction. By the thoughts and feelings of his family.

"Will you...I mean, the Professor..."

Erik's eyes narrow. "You will face down a hail of bullets, but not him?"

Alex looks a little sheepish at that. "I don't know what to say," he mumbles.

"I will tell him," Erik agrees. "But you must tell the others."

Agreeing all too readily, Alex holds Erik in a tight embrace before finally releasing him.

As if going to his death, Erik returns to the house, knowing he is about to break Charles' heart.

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"What does Alex want from me?" Charles asks. He will do what the boy wishes, no matter his personal feelings. He can be the better man.

"I think, Charles, that he wants your acceptance. He knows you do not want him to go. He just wants... I feel he wants you to understand that he has made his own choice."

Erik watches his lover carefully, to see this information sink in.

Charles takes his time to process this, to decide for himself whether he can give Alex what he wants. Slowly, he nods, deciding he can.

"Will you bring him to me?"

Erik nods and kisses Charles' forehead.

"Be brave, liebe."

Charles nods and takes a deep, calming breath as he waits for Erik to fetch Alex to him. He's not really sure how to hold himself, whether he should play the teacher, the father, or some combination of the two.

Erik finds Alex in the garden, arguing quietly with Dante. He allows them their space for a few more minutes, before watching the two young men embrace with the same desperation he recalls on leaving Charles.

Alex sees him then and another wave of sorrow enters the young man's face.

"The Professor is waiting," he says.

Charles feels stiff and awkward as a knock comes at his door and he calls for Alex to enter, feeling the scared mind of the boy - no, man - outside the door. He wishes he had Erik's natural ability to put people at their ease, but he fears he will always be the stuffy headmaster.

Erik follows Alex into the room, and shuts the door behind him. He stands by the first bookcase, hovering but not participating, yet not willing to leave either of them to face this without him.

Alex clears his throat. "You...you know then?"

Charles is comforted by Erik's continued presence, feeling sure his lover will stop him before he says anything too stupid.

"Yes..." Charles sounds as awkward as Alex as he struggles to form a coherent sentence. "Erik... told me. Of your intentions."

Alex juts his chin out, a little defiance in his eyes.

"It's done. I am going."

"Yes. Of course." Charles swallows loudly, looks at his hands for want of something to focus his attention on.

"If... if that's what you think is best, then that's your decision."

"I have to," Alex says, pleading with Charles to understand. "I have to be good at something."

"You are already enough," Erik tells him quietly.

"Not for me," he replies, and Erik's heart breaks for him.

"You are more than good at many things, Alex," Charles tells the man, because he cannot ignore the statement, his heart likewise bleeding.

"And I would rather you did not add being killed to that list. But I cannot make your decisions for you. You are a man grown, after all."

"This is what I must do," Alex repeats, his voice soft yet steel, very like Erik's own.

"Then that is your choice, and we will stand by you."

"Yes, of course," Charles bows his head, cowed by Erik's voice.

"Whatever you choose, Alex. We will support you."

Erik feels the surge of feeling from Charles, but tries to keep his face impassive.

"Take some time," he says to the boy, their surrogate son. "We'll be with you when you tell the others."

"Yes," Charles echoes again, looking back up into Alex's face.

"We'll be with you."

Alex nods, not meeting either of their eyes, before making for the door.

Erik steps forward and briefly clasps him in a hug. "You did well."

Alex leaves, and Erik is once more alone with his grieving lover.

Charles sighs heavily, resisting to the urge to drop his head down onto his desk.

"We're doing the right thing, aren't we?"

"We are respecting his wishes," Erik says, softly. "We cannot protect them forever, Charles."

"No, but I wish that we could," Charles sighs. "But you are right. They must all choose their own paths, sooner or later."

"We cannot choose for others," Erik reminds him, echoing their first meeting, thinking yet again how far they have come. "We can only guide."

"Is there where we've guided Alex to?" Charles is worried about that idea. He has tried to instil his dislike of conflict into the children, but it seems he has failed.

"To make their own choices and think their own thoughts?"

Erik smiles. "The world would be boring if we all agreed."

"I'm quite a fan of boring," Charles sighs.

"It makes for an easy life."

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