XMFC/Toy Soldier

[diecastking]

When Alex says he wants to talk to him, Erik takes him out into the grounds and sits him down first. He already knows he won't like what the boy has to say, but it's Alex who needs to sit down for this. There's a fine tremor running through him as he finally starts to speak.

"I'm joining the army."

Erik listens, trying not to let his reaction show in his face. It's understandable, he thinks, with his natural athleticism, his love of order, and Erik's own past showcased before him. Erik does not like it, but he does not detest the idea either.

Charles, however...

Alex is not asking permission. It is a done deal - without consulting them, or Darwin, or anyone at all. Erik does not chastise him, because he guesses the reason for his secrecy - he did not want to be dissuaded by the Professor's reaction. By the thoughts and feelings of his family.

"Will you...I mean, the Professor..."

Erik's eyes narrow. "You will face down a hail of bullets, but not him?"

Alex looks a little sheepish at that. "I don't know what to say," he mumbles.

"I will tell him," Erik agrees. "But you must tell the others."

Agreeing all too readily, Alex holds Erik in a tight embrace before finally releasing him.

As if going to his death, Erik returns to the house, knowing he is about to break Charles' heart.

Comments

[guideshapelead]

Charles is, as always when left unattended, buried beneath his work in his study. He doesn't even look up at the knock on the door, feeling Erik's presence behind it.

//Come in.//

[diecastking]

Erik grimaces slightly at Charles' voice in his mind. He knows his personal walls are in place, but he's sure his lover can sense the disquiet in his mind nonetheless.

He opens the door and closes it behind him, crossing to the desk and leaning against its side, waiting.

[guideshapelead]

"Are you come to drag me from my work once more?" Charles looks up as Erik hovers, feeling that edge of concern but choosing not to push for the time being.

[diecastking]

"There's something we need to talk about," Erik says. "It can wait if you're busy?"

[guideshapelead]

Charles can tell that this is something serious, though he resists the urge to pluck the issue straight out of Erik's head in his fear.

"No, no, of course not. I always have time for you." Was it something he'd done, or said? Was Erik about to leave him once again?

[diecastking]

Erik comes round the desk and leans against the wood.

"It's about Alex," he says quietly.

[guideshapelead]

Charles instantly feels relieved that this is nothing personal, then very guilty about the fact that he felt relieved.

"Is he... has something happened?"

[diecastking]

Erik tries to think about how best to say it, but tact has never been his strength.

"He has joined the army."

[guideshapelead]

"He has... he has what?" Charles explodes as his brain catches up with the words, fury and disappointment and worry and guilt all building up inside of him in one big, unpleasant ball of emotion. Hadn't he taught the boys better than this? How had he failed so terribly?

"We can talk him out of it, of course?"

[diecastking]

Even with his defences up, Erik feels battered by the onslaught of Charles' emotions. He rubs at his temple.

"I think he is resolved."

[guideshapelead]

"Why?" Charles sounds desperate, broken.

"Why would he do this?"

[diecastking]

Erik shrugs.

"He is looking for his place in the world. We have both been there, Charles."

[guideshapelead]

Charles continues to look aghast.

"But the army, Erik? What good can come of that?"

[diecastking]

"You act as if we have not been soldiers. As if we didn't put him in a uniform and teach him how to fight. I am not surprised he has chosen this path."

Erik knows he is surely more to blame for that than Charles, but he doesn't need to say it aloud for them both to feel it.

[guideshapelead]

Charles has not thought of himself as a soldier for a long time. He'd tried that life once, and he'd ended up bleeding on a beach in Cuba. He would not go back to that place again, and he would not wish it on any of the boys he considered his responsibility, his children.

"He is a teacher, Erik, like you and me. I never asked him to be a soldier. I never... wanted that, for any of them." His voice quavers.

[diecastking]

"Charles," Erik says quietly, patiently, "we have fought a war with him. No matter how much we might want it, he is not a teacher. He is a soldier."

He knows it because he recognises that same fire within Alex that drove him for years to seek vengeance, justice. At least Alex will have the army at his back.

[guideshapelead]

Charles looks away, down at his knees, trying desperately to see Erik's point of view, find the silver lining in this situation. But all he can think about is Cuba, and the stories he heard on the news every day of soldiers killed in the name of duty.

"What if he doesn't come back?" he asks, unable to meet Erik's eye.

[diecastking]

"He is a grown man," Erik says, reaching for his fiancé's hand. "I don't want him to go either. Neither does Darwin. But he has made his choice."

[guideshapelead]

Charles squeezes his eyes shut to hide the wetness there from Erik, as he clings to his lover's hand like a lifeline.

Was it so much to ask that those he cared about would stay close, be satisfied with the safety of this house?

[diecastking]

Erik moves towards Charles and draws him into an embrace.

"We must be brave for him."

[guideshapelead]

"What about Scott?" Charles asks thickly into Erik's shoulder.

[diecastking]

"I was away from him for a long time," Erik reminds him. "He will accept it."

[guideshapelead]

Charles sighs and falls silent, keeping Erik tight in their embrace. Perhaps they could just stay like this forever, and forget about the world outside this office?

[diecastking]

Satisfied his thoughts are more under his control, Erik lets down his guard, reaching out for Charles with his mind.

//We'll survive this, liebe. All of us.//

[guideshapelead]

//I wish I could share your optimism// Charles sighs. He is not the hardened fighter his lover is - he always seems to only just survive every dangerous situation they find themselves in.